my anaconda don’t want none
unless you DEFEAT THE HUNS, SON
IF YOUR BOYFRIEND MAKES JOKES ABOUT YOUR BODY, WEIGHT, EATING DISORDER, RECOVERY, ETC, MAKE A JOKE ABOUT HOW HE’S SINGLE AND THEN WALK OUT THE DOOR BECAUSE THAT IS SOME FUCKEN BULLSHIT AND YOU ARE A BAD BITCH WHO DESERVES BETTER OK OK
So it’s 3AM and It’s just occurred to me that the most telling scene in the entire Harry Potter franchise is the scene following the announcement of the participants of the Triwizard tournament.
When Harry’s name is pulled out of the cup, literally one of the first things he is asked is “did you ask an older boy to put your name in the cup for you?" or something to that effect, insinuating that, that was something nobody prepared for and that it was something that totally would have worked if anyone had been smart enough to figure it out.
However, in an earlier scene a student is turned into a hundred year old man when they try to artificially age themselves with a potion and put their name into the cup. Meaning someone trying to dangerously age themselves with potion they aren’t familiar with was something the teachers genuinely considered to be more likely than someone asking for fucking help from another student.
In other words, the wizards in Harry Potter’s world are so reliant on magic that it doesn’t occur to anyone save for people like Harry that asking for help is even an option in a given situation. This explains why wizards are so fucking ass-backwards at everything, they’re so confident that their magic is capable of doing everything for them that it has never occurred to fucking anyone that perhaps asking for help from the muggle world might be of some use.
Think about it, the wizarding world hasn’t changed in hundreds of years while in that same space of time the muggle world has figured out fucking space travel. I know it’s a cliché to say to say someone could have fucking shot Voldemort, but seriously, somebody totally fucking could have, he killed like 50 people, he was effectively a terrorist, if anyone in the wizarding world bothered to ask for help from the muggles instead of just telling them there was an invisible asshole flying around shooting death curses at everyone, they may have been able to help.
Pretty much the only reason Voldermort thinks he’s better than muggles is because he’s able to kill them with impunity using magic, something he’s only able to do so easily because muggles don’t understand what magic is. Voldemort is basically like a fucking disease, he’s an invisible, lurking entity preying on mankind from the shadows like a cowardly piece of shit. You know what else did that? Smallpox and we stomped that to death the second we understood it. That’s the difference between muggles and wizards, when muggles don’t understand something, they figure it out.
And here’s the kicker, the only reason muggles don’t understand magic at all is because the wizarding world deliberately withholds information about it. However, even if the wizarding world kept doing that, it’d only be a matter of time until a muggle figured out what magic was and how to stop or harness it because that’s what humanity does, it pushes past what we think is impossible to see what’s on the other side. We didn’t understand the sun as a species originally and now we use it to power satellites and smartphones.
The wizarding world isn’t a realm of infinite possibilities, it’s a universe of strict limitations where boundaries are never questioned. The muggle world is where the real magic happens. That’s why during the course of the Harry Potter books, which are set between 1991 and 1998, the muggle world (our world) discovered dark matter, cloned a sheep and invented fucking MP3s while the wizarding world were literally paying some dipshit to figure out what the purpose of a rubber duck was.
Wow, I really shouldn’t think about this stuff when it’s like 3AM, it gets kind of dark.
Hey kid, what’s going on, want to check out my pit of souls?
Yeah, those souls sure are way deep down in that pit there huh?
Or… not? Get your hands out of my soul pit.
Okay, I’ll admit that’s apparently some impressive reach…
Like, really impressive reach….
THIS HAS ALWAYS BOTHERED ME BLESS THE OP
so hear me out. what if this pit broke the laws of physics since it was a pit of dead souls going down the drain like a motherfucker. like you would think that something as paranormal as a pit of dead souls would break physics in the first place considering how it’s like. human perception. or something.
Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
tagged by: tomypleasingrpaesthetics
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = Gatorade
2. last phone call = Dad
3. last text message = Dad. Again.
4. last song you listened to = http://jjemini94.tumblr.com/post/97634905869/botanicsage-me-dicking-around-once-again
5. last time you cried = September the 2nd
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = what like actually taking them out on a date or like dating someone in a steady sense? in which case yeah to the first nope to the second.
7. been cheated on = Nope
8. kissed someone & regretted it = Nope
9. lost someone special = Yes
10. been depressed = Yes
11. been drunk and threw up = Maybe. I’m not sure.
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: Purple, Navy, Black
LAST YEAR (2013), HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend = Fuck yes
16. Fallen out of love = yyyyyno i think
17. Laughed until you cried = Absolutely
18. Met someone who changed you = Yes
19. Found out who your true friends are = Yeah.
20. Found out someone was talking about you = Uh huh
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend’s list = Nope.
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = Not enough.
24. Do you have any pets = Kinda. A cat and a chin.
25. Do you want to change your name = I’ve considered it many times.
26. What did you do for your last birthday = Nothing special, actually. i think i went out to dinner or something.
27. What time did you wake up today = 11:30. sleep is nice
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = GAMES AND SHIT
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = Super Smash Bros 4
30. Last time you saw your mother = i don’t remember actually :U
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = The ability to travel instantaneously. That would make everything easier.
32. What are you listening to right now = http://youtu.be/U9yg-c73XL0
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? = YES HE WAS FANTASTIC.
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now = Fruit flys
35. Most visited webpage = Tumtums.
37. Nickname = What
38. Relationship Status = Committed as fuck
39. Zodiac sign = Gemini
40. He or She = him
41. Elementary = hume, i guess
42. High School = JLCrow and LVRogers
43. College = SAIT
44. Hair color = Brown. Or something.
45. Long or short = Short
46. Height = 5’9
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = TOTES MAGOATS. though i think it’s far stronger than a crush at this point considering i’m committed as fuck.
48. What do you like about yourself? = my sparring moments of confidence
50. Tattoos? = I want them yes
51. Righty or lefty = Righty Tighty
52. First surgery = Nope. But my wrists could totally use work.
53. First piercing = Eyebrow
54. First best friend = Man how do i spell that fucker’s name i don’t even
55. First sport you joined = what
56. First vacation = first independant vacation was england. first time overseas
58. First pair of trainers = what
59. Eating = my hopes and dreams
60. Drinking = water?
61. I’m about to = Continue work on my dad’s website i guess
62. Listening to = FUCKING AGAIN REALLY?
63. Waiting for = these fruit flies to CEASE AND DESIST
64. Want kids? = Nope
65. Get Married? = If i need to yeah, otherwise i’m on the fence
66. Career? = Web Design
WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes = YES
68. Hugs or kisses = YES
69. Shorter or taller = YES
70. Older or Younger = YES
71. Romantic or spontaneous = YES
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = SURE
73. Sensitive or loud = IF WE CAN YES
74. Hook-up or relationship = RELATIONSHIP
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = YES
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger = nope
77. Drank hard liquor = mixed yeah
78. Lost glasses/contacts = all the time
79. Sex on first date = Nope
80. Broke someone’s heart = Probably
81. Had your own heartbroken = Yeah
82. Been arrested = Nope
83. Turned someone down = I forgot
84. Cried when someone died = Yeah
85. Fallen for a friend = .YEAH
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = SOMEWHAT
87. Miracles = SOMEWHAT. THEY’RE PRETTY MANMADE THOUGH
88. Love at first sight = no, but holy shit the initial attraction can be crazy sometimes
89. Heaven = Nope
90. Santa Claus = Ho Ho Ho, Motherfucker
91. Kiss on the first date = Considering that i ended up pecking my girlfriend within the first minute of seeing her in person, i don’t see why not.
92. Angels = I’m in a relationship with one right now yeah.
No i don’t got it. I was talking about those types of dances in general and i think dancing with you would be fun :U